no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
