hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
