Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
