guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize