hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
