We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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