HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
