we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
