It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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