Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
