a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
