I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
