the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
