i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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