Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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