Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
