I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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