I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
