dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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