Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Boobs are out for the taking
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
