We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
