I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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