please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Found your dick twin last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
