Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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