im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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