i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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