Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
