You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
oh god the rape fog is back!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize