How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
