i was born a porn star she said
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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