She's JV to your varsity
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
