Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We need to get me chipped asap
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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