I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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