If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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