just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
