my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
