Sry I called you an 8
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
