Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Less talking, more tequila
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
