You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize