that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How naked do you want me to be?
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