I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
should my penis look like a turkey
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
