I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
