she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
