so explain again why im purple
no
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
