she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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