So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
