real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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