you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
