I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
