I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
