There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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