I just saw a hot homeless man
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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