oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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