a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
