I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize