so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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