Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
