Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Please, let me fuck your mom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
