And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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