So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
