so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
